Know When to Walk Away
We are constantly told that more is better - the best is better...better is better.
More money, more responsibility, more respect, more interviews.
It's not always the way. It's taken me many years to understand that and it's still hard to sometimes walk away from a job that has been advertised or a so-called opportunity (which may just be a poison chalice in disguise).
We often don't allow ourselves to even wonder if it's a job/opportunity/raise that we actually want. All we think about is how we'll be better if we get that job, how others will respect us more, how we will be better off money-wise and it will be the answer to all of our greatest problems.
It's really important to check in with yourself weekly to try and understand what it is you actually want. That in itself can be very hard because it takes time, practice and trial and error to understand what we want. What we want also changes...we have new experiences and meet new people and go through hard times. We also change with that.
In the past couple of years when opportunities in a day job have come up, I've literally had to write a pro's and con's list for why I should apply. That's a red flag in the first place - it's telling you that your don't really wan't it. You're not thinking with passion, you're thinking logistically (which is also really important but it does show that something is missing).
Often, I've thought that I don't want to apply for positions because of a lack of confidence from being turned down for previous roles and I'm now twice shy. Yet I know the real reason if because I've decided to follow what I really want to do - which is growing TLA (despite still needing to learn a hell of a lot and working constantly to get there).
The money isn't always the most important. You need to weigh up what the opportunity cost would be if you got the position. You probably wouldn't have the same amount of spare time, travelling distance may be longer and you might have to delay side hustles or personal and family priorities whilst you concentrate on your new role.
This all sounds really negative, right? Make sure you know the reasons why you want to apply - and make sure it isn't because it will make yourself feel better.
I've found that when I'm truly happy - when something happens that brings me alive, I actually spend far less money then when I'm not. Think being told some great news, wanting to celebrate and coming home with a £2 bottle of bubble bath.
So whenever you see an opportunity, weigh up whether to apply with the following:
1. Will this actually help me to get to my ultimate goals?
2. What skills will I learn in the new role that will help me?
3. Do I have a good relationship with the person I'd be working for and the team?
4. What do I like most about my spare time?
5. What will I have to give up/put on hold to follow this new role if I was given it?
Now I get that this sounds really negative. But don't let your pride get in the way of a good life and following what you really, really want to do. Not just want you think will make you feel good about yourself right now.
Know when to walk away and look after yourself.